Here are what I believe to be 5 most important ways to control your emotions, making you an amazing individual: #1: Don’t Be Reactive Learn to accept and process your emotions in a nonjudgmental way. You might think, “Ok, I’m feeling angry at John because he forgot to call when he arrived at the hotel. 1. I write characters.". Select a time when you and your partner are not rushed or hassled. But once you are able to control your emotions, life changes for you in more ways than you ever dreamed possible. You shouldn’t only think about type of emotion, but the intensity of that emotion, too. Let go of these preconceived notions in order to avoid being too emotional. This article has been viewed 475,852 times. Why do you need to control your emotions in a relationship? You likely have your own set of rules that fall within your comfort zone, so it’s important to keep some of those when you are in a relationship. unlocking this expert answer. Don’t be victimized, reactive, or defensive.. Expressing Emotions. How can I get my partner to talk to me when I am in a long distance relationship? Pamper your inner child, learn lots, protect him/her from physical and emotional manipulation. How to Control Your Emotions in a Relationship. Whenever you become emotional the next time, try to identify what could have triggered it and gradually work on it as well. Give it … Too often, I let my emotions drive my judgment which vastly impacts my relationships as well. How do I deal with bad separation anxiety? How to control your emotions in a relationship? How was the reaction when you last expressed your emotions or feelings? In this way, you would know how to handle a similar situation in the future. If you want to be with someone in the long run, then you need to learn how to control your emotions in a relationship. Try again! "I really liked this article and would want it to be expanded for more details. Say to yourself, “Ok, that conversation didn’t go as well as I planned, and I’m feeling anxious about it. Emotions are how we experience life. As stated above, you should not let your temporary emotions leave a permanent impact on your life. This article was co-authored by Lauren Urban, LCSW. If they’re fulfilled, you might feel contented, excited, or joyful. Maybe you haven’t been the best partner lately because you’ve been so busy with school. We don’t all grow emotional muscle at the same rate. One way you can do this is to discuss your emotions with your partner using “I” statements. In this article, I will explain how to control negative emotions and feelings to have a more pleasant life, build good relationships and avoid conflicts. A calm and peaceful mind can surpass the hardest of times and have a strong relationship. Circumstances change, people fall in and out of love, people move, people die. Watch your hands and the way your body reacts to a situation while having a conversation with your partner. Read on for another quiz question. A friend of mine told me this while having a conversation and these words still resonate with me. If you’re ahead of the one you love, here are some high-EQ ways to respond to low-EQ behavior and poor listeners. All-or-nothing thinking, or the tendency to see situations in black and white without noticing shades of grey (e.g., “I am a failure,” or “My partner is a bad person.”). You might let temporary emotions make a permanent decision in your relationship. Without even realizing, you might end up pushing your partner away. You might end up staying in a toxic relationship as well if you become overly attached to someone and the thought of losing them makes you afraid. Many people use breathing techniques as a way to control anxiety and panic attacks, therefore it’s no wonder that breathing can also be used to manage your emotions in an argument. Every person is driven by emotions on a daily basis, be it at work, in a relationship or some other area in life. Set Boundaries. By using our site, you agree to our. As you would get worried over the slightest of issues, it can lead to stress and anxiety in the long-term. Here's What Your Zodiac Sign Says. Instead of saying “I am angry,” say “I feel angry right now.”. The following thoughtful tips will help you control your emotions for sure. They are part of emotional intelligence and if you develop it you will have a better quality of life, you will develop better personal relationships and you will have more professional success. 2. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Emotions plays a … For example, if one relationship fell apart, you might find yourself thinking, “I am not able to have healthy relationships.”. Find independent and interdependent hobbies. If you can’t do anything to resolve it, then let it go and focus on other important things in your life. Though, if you take some thoughtful steps, then you can control your emotions for sure. 1) To really take control of your emotions it’s important to think of your mind and emotions as a garden. In this case, it's quite possible that you don't like yourself and that you're projecting this internal diislike outwardly, to everyone else. New Love Times © 2012-21. I am in a relationship with a guy who was dating my friend, but all of a sudden we fell for each other and started dating. Emotions are the most powerful and painful forces in human's life. Another way to infuse some positive emotions … Whether you are angry, sad, happy, depressed or anything else, it is not your permanent state of being. Your partner might tell you some things that you didn’t want to hear. The best way to deal with this is to identify which it is and then communicate with your partner or find a way to handle your insecurity. Emotional and mental abuse involves a person acting in a way to control, isolate, or scare somebody else. He doesn't express his feelings and doesn't die to meet me or call me or message me often. Sometimes, we become overly emotional over the simplest of things that don’t even need our attention. Though, sometimes we get so overwhelmed by them that they end up clouding our judgment. Break up your speech into short phrases, and pause to take a deep breath after each phrase. You might overthink about the coming future and what is right in front of you while ignoring the bigger picture. Don’t beat yourself up--it happens to everyone! When you’re talking with them, listen to what they have to say without getting defensive or angry. For example, instead of telling them, “You make me so angry when you ignore me,” try saying, “I feel upset and hurt when I feel like you aren’t listening to me.” This can help you control your emotions while also shifting the blame away from your partner. Avoid all kinds of mind games and let your partner know about your insecurities and doubts. And you’re unlikely to see your best self slamming doors or screaming at people you love. . Either through an empowering activity or other friendships and meaningful relationships. If you’re not clear about what you need and why you need it, your message may be mixed up. I’ll try to manage arguments better in the future.”, Instead of saying, “You’re driving me crazy with your yelling,” you should say, “I feel upset when you raise your voice at me.”, Instead of, “You’re wrong!” try, “I don’t agree with you.”. If we feel really emotionally shaken up … For instance, thinking "I'm a crybaby" is less useful than thinking about why you're crying. We don’t always make a pragmatic decision by being overwhelmed with emotions and can later regret it. Try to understand that you can’t win every argument or fight in your relationship. We’re just going to break up anyway.”. Ask yourself if the person is worth the effort or not. We know ads can be annoying, but they’re what allow us to make all of wikiHow available for free. If you want to have a stress-free and fruitful relationship, then you need to process your emotions and keep a check on them. You might let temporary emotions make a permanent decision in your relationship. Right! Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. If it is for your own good, then you can’t be defensive. Stay calm and listen to your partner, especially during heated arguments. I have trouble managing emotions and, "It showed me that when you control your emotions and trust your mate, you will have a healthy relationship. 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